Forced Love

“I loved twice, I am loved thrice. Love is expensive; when it’s forced, the taste is lost”.

She narrates:

My name is Julie. I am a chartered accountant; an ambitious working class…*winks*I am outspoken, beautiful,tall,dark skinned,my curves accentuate my beauty; every go-getter wants to be my buddy. I know I am charming but I’m not good at bragging, so I stoop low,probably, the reason for men’s crazy love for me. I can make the dry bone rise again, I am good at encouraging people; I think ‘inspire’ is the right word,I can’t forget one of my strengths;I smell nice, not because I wear oil perfumes,but because I am blessed with that sweet smell of the angels,I wouldn’t say I am sexy now, but I know I am.

“Love” is a four letter word that makes me see stars each time I imagine its reality. “I loved twice, I am loved thrice”,that sounds like riddles! You know what? That four letter word is too expensive to be just four letters. “Julie, aren’t you going to get married to that responsible man, he’s got good vibes: He’s cute,cool,generous,I think he’s every woman’s dream. He has a good job, and even a sharp investment, owns a clean car, and most especially,he treats you like a queen”? Who is talking about those features babe? What I’m concerned about now is love. Do I love him! I mean, do I have any feelings for him? Like, will I long to kiss him,stare into his face,look for a treasure in his eyes, steal gaze at him,admire him,lust for his body,walk by his side,swim with him,let him romance me while I thank my stars,walk round his home half naked,end up doing it in his kitchen while cooking?… sure,we will have to turn off the cooker anyway! All those things I mentioned and more…will I, Julie long for them? But he loves you,I’m sure! Yes,you are right,but surprisingly,I don’t love him. I don’t even have any feelings or affection for him. Babes,I tried…on several occasions,but…SMH… it’s not just natural,therefore,not forthcoming. In fact,I practically forced myself to like him at least,you know…see reasons to like him,but I just wasted time because I achieved nothing. It is not working!(screams).

Let’s look at it this way babes…I want to be with a man that wouldn’t just be the one doing the loving. I want that one that wouldn’t have to do extraordinary things just to earn my love. Love is a natural gift,it is not artificial, so just like air,it is priceless,therefore,it can’t be bought. I pay so much attention to this love thing because I understand my temperament and I manage it so well,so to remain that charming queen I am,my man deserves true love from me and not forced love, obviously,if it’s forced, it’s unnecessarily expensive and tasteless. You may say I’m living in a fool’s paradise,but I am quite sure that what I deserve and desire is in existence. So,don’t give me that bingo look.

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