It is no news that the Nollywood actor’s struggle with bitterness is the talk of the day. The question I keep asking myself is “why did she have to wait till this time to cry out?”It is supposed that by now, considering her years of separation,the wound ought to have healed; but that’s not the case. Do we blame her, her ex,her mother-in-law,or may be her innocent son since she was already pregnant before her marriage plans. Are we to believe that she went ahead to marry her ex because of the pregnancy? So, do we really blame the innocent child?
Children are gifts from God. The beautiful actress in her uproar disclosed that she never planned having the child,she rightly said that she had her own plan,but God has his for the child. She had to accept her fate and love her child, taking care of him in the womb just like every good mother. Did the child plant himself in her womb?Did he push her to have that sex that made his existence a reality? No! He is just an innocent lad! So,who exactly should be blamed for the pains and so much bitterness in the heart of Mama King? Her mother-in-law?
Her mother-in-law could be blamed,but what evidence do we have to that effect? Now do we blame Tonto herself or her ex?
Marriage is a union of a man and a woman. “Man” here connotes maturity,head,leader,gatekeeper, shepherd,provider,father. On the other hand,”woman” connotes maturity,shoulder,supporter,adviser,mother, home maker,care giver. When any of these party fails in his/her duty,fight/bitterness is inevitable.
The Nollywood actress committed a blunder that gave birth to the pain she struggles with today. She took the wedding upon herself; she paid for the tailoring of his groom’s clothes, made hers,bought his shoes,bought hers,she did almost everything;she paid almost every bill;she married herself;yes! That’s the summary. That’s exactly the beginning of her marital failure. It is quite obvious that her supposed Mr Right was never meant to be taken from the left to the right. A man who is not ready to settle down will never be committed to his forced bride. He will only be there for the benefits he gets,and when he is tired of pretending,he lets the rottweiller in him out; beating,abusing, and other domestic violence soon become the order of the day.
Now that the pot of soup has been thrown into the bush,what should the actress do?
Bitterness is one cankerworm that can eat up a man to the last piece. A bitter person acts without thinking,his emotions combat with and defeat his reasoning capability. In most cases,the victim acts insanely,immaturely,and foolishly. What makes a happy person isn’t the rosy nature of his life because obviously,no one’s life is really rosy, rather,happiness is found in our ability to identify the pain someone has put us through,wish it never happened,cry in our rooms,dry our tears,forgive, forget and hope for a better future; simply put; let go and move on. I feel the pain of the beautiful actress,and I also feel the silence of her ex. Everyone is to be blamed,yes! But someone has to be more blamed. Who then is it?
My candid advise to ladies: DO NOT be in a haste to get married,most times,it backfires. No matter how much you love a man,please,DO NOT marry yourself for him. It just shows you don’t know your worth,therefore you have no value for yourself. Finally,before you go into marriage,prepare yourself both physically and spiritually; God wouldn’t come down in Himself to make enquires about your man for you,you have to do it yourself,ask intelligent questions,be wise about it though,find out at least a good percentage of what you need to know about your suitor,then,crown it all with prayer,you need God’s direction, remember,you are just mere mortal,so,you need a supernatural being to do the non- physical job for you.