What I learnt unconsciously last few years, but fortunately, got the perfect quote to express it few days ago from a dear friend: “Never mock a pain you have not endured, because, when life hits you, you may become everything you ever criticized”.
We are always very quick to talk about people’s mistakes, bad deeds, improper behaviours, negative reactions, etc, forgetting that we too might do worse than they did if put in the same condition. Therefore, inasmuch as we shouldn’t encourage ills, we should also try not to mock the “seemingly weaker ones”, who found themselves battling with these ills.
For instance, a young lady who takes in out of wedlock, (especially in this part of the world where we are obsessed with spirituality), becomes an object of mockery and bad example to other ladies whose own acts have not got them exposed. For some “holier than thou group of people”, she is wayward, a disgrace, and a loose girl. They will justify their condemnation with the position that she ought to keep herself for her husband, and not sleeping with her so-called boyfriend(s). They are right to say that anyway! On the other hand, what then do we say about the “lucky” ones who didn’t take in after rounds of sexual intercourse with numerous boyfriends, and the “smart” ones who cleared there mess before anyone could know about it? Do we call them righteous, blameless?
Also, we are fast to condemn the religious who unfortunately got involved in scandals, especially the ones associated with sexual immorality. The truth is that no vice is worth commending, however, no defaulter is worth crucifying, because, everyone has a pain he/she battles with on a daily basis. The only thing that makes us holy in the sight of others is the secrecy of our individual pains and struggles. Be not surprised that the group of people who criticize more, are the ones who do more evil and conceal them with their last drop of sweat.
Another instance is seen in the lives of married women who haven’t conceived yet. On seeing this category of people, the first thing that we think about is how many abortions they have done that rendered their wombs useless. In reality, virgins have issues with conception as well. So, could they have committed abortions and still retained their virginity? May be those virgins who mock them will have to stop by the time they get married and have to wait for years longer than those they mocked before they get to conceived.
Show me a lonely soul, and I will show you human who yearns for companionship. Loneliness is an instigator of vices. Have you thought about the real reason why people commit suicide? I have! Loneliness is the mother reason. If that lonely soul could find comfort in just one person, suicide wouldn’t have crossed his mind. The same goes with “some” people who have become objects of scandal mostly associated with sexual immorality.
In sum, I believe we can reduce the pain of others by not mocking them in their struggles and failures. Most times, when we are hit by life, we become everything, virtually everything we ever criticized.